


Five Times Kathryn Janeway Didn't Need a Hug and the One Time She Did

by SeafoamSoul



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M, Kathryn Janeway Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 06:07:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24410035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeafoamSoul/pseuds/SeafoamSoul
Summary: Set during Resolutions (aka one of the best Voyager episodes) but with my own lil spin on it, plus a lil 5 + 1 trope.
Relationships: Chakotay/Kathryn Janeway
Comments: 7
Kudos: 36
Collections: Kathryn Janeway Needs A Hug





	Five Times Kathryn Janeway Didn't Need a Hug and the One Time She Did

The first time Chakotay was convinced Captain Janeway - no, Kathryn, she would always be Kathryn to him now - needed some comfort, a hug even, was after they had finally set up their shelter. She huddled inside, framed by the bare walls and he was struck by just how true her comment about looking better in beige was. 

She was radiant, but he expected nothing less, even in these harrowing conditions. He had been enchanted by her the first time he met her despite the fact that they were sworn enemies in that very moment. Now, however, they were Captain and First Officer, friends, and he couldn’t deny the feelings he had for her. As Kathryn fiddled with the equipment on the table in front of her, Chakotay leaned against the wall, just watching her. 

By now, the two had worked together long enough for Chakotay to be able to tell what was really going on in her mind, how she really felt. As a starship captain stranded in the Delta Quadrant, Kathryn never felt free enough to truly express her feelings. Instead, she maintained her calm demeanor, never wavering from her large and in charge persona to the crew. But Chakotay knew better, which is why he noticed the slight crease in her brow, the slight wobble of her lip despite her clenched jaw as she tried to reign in her emotions.

“Kathryn,” he began, voice calm so as not to startle her. “Are you alright?” Standing next to her now, he couldn’t help but notice how small she was, how being stranded here on this planet had already stripped away part of her commanding, captainly appearance. Onboard Voyager, it was easy to forget about her small stature as she kept the ship running smoothly. Here, now, tendrils of her hair coming loose from her updo, she seemed as small as she was. 

“I’m fine, Chakotay,” she replied distractedly, glancing at him long enough to smile tightly, eyes empty behind the expression.   
He sat next to her, allowing the silence to fill the space between them. She was focused on the piece of equipment in front of her once again, steadfastly ignoring his gaze on her face. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” He finally asked, seeing her jaw twitch the longer they sat there. 

“No, thank you,” came her quick reply as she stood from her seat. “I’d better go set up my traps.”

And then Kathryn was gone, leaving Chakotay sitting awkwardly alone at the table. He knew it would be hard for her to be away from the ship, but he didn’t know it would be this hard to get through to her. 

But if there was one thing Kathryn Janeway was, it was steadfast, stubborn, almost to a fault. She wouldn’t admit how she was affected, especially not so soon, and she absolutely wouldn’t need anyone to comfort her. 

\---

She didn’t realize she had gotten so used to sleeping in space, stars rushing by the viewport in her quarters, but after a couple weeks planetside, Kathryn was finding it increasingly difficult to get any semblance of restful sleep. Instead, she spent much of the night tossing and turning on her small bed, acutely aware of Chakotay’s presence on the other side of the divider between their beds. She tried to stay quiet, not wanting to interrupt Chakotay’s slumber with her own sleeping problems. 

Of course, the one night she couldn’t keep quiet was the one night she wasn’t even aware of anything. She had finally fallen asleep relatively early on in the night, leaving Chakotay to work on the plans he was keeping secret from her. Mere moments after her head hit the pillow, Kathryn was asleep. 

Chakotay, on the other side of the divide, was glad she was finally getting some rest. Despite how quiet she had tried to be while she was tossing and turning at night, he was still always so aware of her restlessness. He allowed a soft smile to grace his face as he heard Kathryn sigh, nestling further under the blankets on her bed before turning back to his plans in front of him.

About thirty minutes later, however, the calm quiet in the shelter had changed. It started with a whimper, deep in Kathryn’s throat. Chakotay paused in his plans, head snapping up as he listened closer. After a beat, another whimper escaped Kathryn’s throat, turning into a full blown cry for help. 

Before he knew it, Chakotay had rounded the barrier between the two, eyes wild as he tried to be ready for anything that may be hurting Kathryn. Instead of finding anything attacking her, he saw her eyes clenched tightly shut, face screwed up in pain, breathing wild. She continued to cry out, body wrenching and legs tangling in the blankets covering her. 

“Kathryn!” His hands were on her shoulders, shaking her awake as she continued to scream. “Kathryn!”

With a start, she sat bolt upright in the bed, breathing harshly. Her eyes stayed close for a moment, allowing her to collect herself before she met Chakotay’s eyes. He recognized the steeliness in the blue depths, sighing inwardly. He knew she would brush off what happened, the obvious nightmare she suffered from, how being stranded here on this planet was only getting harder for her while it became increasingly easy for Chakotay.

Still, he had to try to get her to talk about it, to get to the bottom of it. “Kathryn, do you need-”

“No, I do not need to talk about it, Chakotay,” she cut him off, jaw clenched stiffly. “I’m going for a walk.”

And then she slipped by him, out into the dark of the night. With a sigh, Chakotay headed around the divide, climbing into his own bed. He lost track of how long she was gone, but he feigned sleep as she returned, ignoring for the moment that her eyes were red rimmed and there were obvious tear tracks down her cheeks. 

\---

Chakotay’s secret building plans came to light a week after Kathryn’s nightmare had shocked both of them. The two were still ignoring it, Kathryn sure that Chakotay had forgotten while Chakotay thought she’d come to him when the moment was right. It had been tense in the shelter since she had woken from the nightmare, and he was hoping that his surprise would lighten the mood, at least for a while.

And it seemed to work. The smile on Kathryn’s face when he revealed he had made her a tub could light up the galaxy. All of the stress that had settled into her face, her posture, had melted away as she stared at the tub in front of her. She finally looked relaxed, mind blissfully blank rather than worrying endlessly about the crew she had to be separated from and her own endless research to find a cure for the virus that kept the two of them on New Earth.

In the same moment that Chakotay witnessed the stress leave her body, he watched as her shoulders sagged forward just a little too much to reflect joy and happiness. No, that particular posture was saved only for when Kathryn was letting her emotions get the better of her, a position she never put herself in around the crew back on Voyager.

Chakotay took a step closer to her, reaching out to take her into his arms before she straightened her back ramrod straight, looked him in the eyes, and nodded her thanks before walking away from him.

What was that they say about third time’s the charm? Chakotay shook his head, letting out a deep breath before heading back to the shelter. He was sure Kathryn was off checking the traps she set out for insects despite the fact she had already done so twice already today. He knew her too well, knew she was just running through the motions before she got her emotions back in check and could finally bring herself to meet his eyes.

\---

Neither of them had expected the plasma storm sweeping across the planet. The weather had been perfect the whole time they’d been on New Earth, but now Kathryn was kicking herself for not even attempting to figure out the weather patterns on the planet.   
Those feelings of inadequacy, desperation, only heightened as the storm raged through, damaging the shelter she and Chakotay had worked so hard on to make feel like home. Or as much like home as they could given their limited supplies and Kathryn’s innate need to figure out a way to get back on Voyager, to rejoin her crew. 

The two sat huddled under a table, hiding from the storm. They had no choice but to just watch in silence as the wind whipped around them, throwing their belongings across the shelter. 

Kathryn had managed to keep her composure, the tightness in her jaw the only indication that she was put off by the storm, by its ability to catch her unawares. She hated surprises, hated not knowing what was coming her way. 

But she hated watching all her hard work be destroyed even more. 

The storm strengthened, tearing through the shelter and forcing Kathryn and Chakotay to get even closer. As they sat, waiting it out, she could only stare helplessly as the storm ruined her research, her equipment. Every bit of her research was tossed around like it meant nothing, shattering to pieces as it was tossed around the shelter. 

Chakotay has to hold her back, keep her from crawling out from under the table to go after it. She knew there was nothing she could do about all of her broken equipment, all the samples she had already collected. Still, she couldn’t shake the feeling of hopelessness, of anger, as the storm raged on around them. 

The moment the storm died out, Kathryn freed herself from the cramped space under the table, hands on her hips as she looked around the shelter. When her eyes landed on her research, her samples, the evidence of the work she’d been doing in order to cure the virus, Chakotay watched as her eyes narrowed and her lips pursed. Without a glance behind her, she left the shelter, leaving Chakotay behind in the mess the storm left for them. 

He knew she was off to see if she could salvage any of her traps, despite the fact all the necessary equipment for her to continue her research was destroyed. Even still, if that’s what she needed to recover from the storm, it was fine with him. 

Thirty minutes later, Kathryn reappeared in the doorway to the shelter, shaking her head imperceptibly as Chakotay looked at her with a question in his eyes. The silence was charged, electric, but instead of saying anything, she joined him in picking up what could be salvaged and clearing away the rest. And when her eyes strayed over the space where her equipment lay broken earlier, they saw only a clear patch of floor. When she thought he wasn’t looking, she shot Chakotay a small, grateful smile, and he filed it away in the back of his brain. 

\---

“We have to set some parameters,” Kathryn told him, voice shaky as she walked around the divider in the middle of the room.   
Chakotay knew he should expect a conversation like this, was almost ready for it. They had gotten closer here on the planet, Kathryn allowing herself to be seen, truly seen. She didn’t hide under her captain’s mask much at all anymore, opting instead to give Chakotay a clear look into what she was feeling. Now, instead of quietly dissecting every twitch of her jaw, every narrowing of her eyes, he only had to take one look at her to know what she was thinking. 

Or he did, before she decided to start this conversation. 

As she sat across the table from him, he noticed her face was tight, jaw clenched. He thought she had made such progress while they were stuck here, but it seemed as if she couldn’t get out of her own head. 

Chakotay can’t bring himself to let Kathryn say what he knows she’ll say - that they need to be careful, that they can’t get too close, can’t change their relationship. He knows she’s struggling with being on the planet, away from the crew she’s come to know as her family and she can’t let that last little bit of the Captain go. 

Instead, he begins to speak before she can gather her thoughts. He tells her of a legend amongst his people, the legend of the Angry Warrior, about how the warrior joins a neighboring tribe led by a woman warrior, how he learns about true peace by putting her needs above his own. It’s a thinly veiled reference to the two of them, and Chakotay knows Kathryn will pick up on it. But telling her this through the lens of a legend makes it easier for him to say, easier for her to take in. 

It’s quiet after he finishes his tale, and Kathryn’s face has softened, eyes wide and watery. She reaches out her hand to him, clasps his in her own and allows a few tears to fall. 

And then she’s gone, hiding again behind the divider Chakotay has come to hate so much. But he knows she got the message and he can only hope that she’ll come around. 

\---

It had been quiet, comfortable, between Kathryn and Chakotay ever since he told her about the angry warrior. She seemed to be accepting their situation, getting into a daily schedule of gardening and trying to domesticate the monkey they continued to see. Chakotay could see that she still longed for the comfort of Voyager, but she was finally accepting New Earth as their home.

And Kathryn was accepting the fact that she and Chakotay could no longer fight their relationship. She could non longer keep herself closed off, had no captaincy to provide a barrier between the two here on the planet. All the small touches she would give him onboard Voyager lingered a little longer, eyes soft and warm whenever she looked at him. 

Chakotay couldn’t get enough of that look, that softness in her face, and was doing everything he could to get it to last, to ensure her comfort. The plans he made for the boat were almost finalized, and he wanted to surprise her with it just like he did with the tub, but he knew he couldn’t hide this from her forever. Calling her inside the shelter, he couldn’t help but smile at the dirt smudged across her forehead, her hair falling from her ponytail. 

Her face lit up as she looked at his plans, turning to look up at him with a wide smile on her face. He wanted to say something, move closer, but the moment was interrupted as a message came through to her combadge. 

Immediately, her eyes steeped and she straightened her back, answering Tuvok’s message and listening intently as he told her the crew, the ship, was coming back for them. They would be rescued. 

The next few hours were a whirlwind, Kathryn and Chakotay gathering up everything they needed to beam back to the ship. It was quiet, tense, and Chakotay was sure Kathryn’s jaw would crack with how tense she was. 

As she moved around the shelter, checking to ensure they had everything they needed, she came back upon the plans for the boat. Instantly, her energy changed. Her shoulders slumped forward, hands clenching into fists. And then she was crying, shoulders shaking as she sobbed. 

Chakotay rushed to her, pulling her into his arms. She clutched onto his uniform jacket, tucking her face into his neck.   
“I don’t want to go back,” she sobbed, fingers twisting into the fabric of his jacket even further. “I can’t be the Captain again, not when I’ve finally found Kathryn. Not after being here with you.”

His arms tighten around her small form, holding her closer. As her sobs wracked her body, he couldn’t help but feel like this was the moment. This was the moment it would all change between them, this would alter the course of their lives for the better.   
“Kathryn,” he breathes, and it sounds almost like a prayer. “You can be both. You are both. You just have to give yourself the freedom to show it.”

She pulled back out of his grip, tear stained cheeks and glistening eyes staring into his face. And then she smiles, going up on her tiptoes to tentatively press her lips against his.

Before they knew it, they had been beamed aboard Voyager still clutching onto one another, still gazing into each other's eyes. None of the crew members in Transporter Room 1 seemed surprised or even confused, and Captain Janeway was more than ready to begin her new phase as both Captain and Kathryn with Chakotay right there by her side.


End file.
